A very happy meal

From Foxnews.com
Link

WELLINGTON, New Zealand —  A
grandmother was alarmed to find a condom in a happy meal gift pack
bought for her 7-year-old granddaughter at a McDonald’s (MCD) restaurant in New Zealand, local media reported Thursday.

The
condom was discovered Tuesday night in a bag that came with Maia
Whitaker’s meal, which her grandparents bought at a McDonald’s outlet
in the city of Wellington.

Grandpa Rowan Hutch told The Dominion Post newspaper it was lucky his wife was first to look inside the small sports bag that came with the meal.

She was aghast when she found the green condom and its packet inside the bag, he said.
“I was pretty horrified really. The fact my granddaughter was going to
look in the bag and find this thing. It would be difficult to explain,
she’s only seven,” said Hutch.

The outlet quickly swapped the happy meal for a hamburger and pencil case. McDonald’s is investigating the find.

Spokeswoman
Joanna Redfern-Hardisty said because of its popularity, the previous
happy meal gift had sold out at the outlet and prepackaged sports bags
were substituted as children’s gifts.

One
was left unsealed for display purposes and “somehow” had ended up with
the customer, she said, without explaining why the condom was present.

Man accused of dental work in garage

From Victorville Daily Press
Link

WEST PALM BEACH, Fla. (AP) — A man was held
Wednesday on charges that he performed dental work on customers without
a license in his “filthy” garage, authorities said. Roger Bean, 60, was
arrested Tuesday and held on $6,000 bond.

Bean
performed denture fittings and made false teeth in his garage, charging
just $200 for a full set of dentures, a procedure that typically costs
more than $2,000, authorities said. But he was not licensed to practice
in Florida.

Palm Beach County Sheriff’s
detective Don Zumpano said there were “health risks with operating this
type of facility outside of your house,” adding that Bean’s workspace
was “filthy.”

Neighbors and clients, however, praised Bean for saving them thousands of dollars.

Ron St. Mary, 73, head of the neighborhood crime watch, said Bean is no criminal.

“He’s helping the old people who don’t have a few dollars,” he said. “I think the world of him.”

It was not immediately clear if Bean had an attorney.

Typical Thursday

I get a call from a friend earlier today asking me why there are police outside my house. My mind runs through multiple possibilities, none of them good.

So I call my girlfriend and ask her why there are police outside our house. She didn’t even know they were there, but a quick check outside confirms that my friend was not just talking shit.

I get several more calls and messages asking about the police, who have by this point blocked off the street. Word travels fast.

A message a few hours later informs me that they are investigating the violent stabbing to death of a woman that has been found in a car. Opposite my house. Lovely.

A Sexist Joke

At some point in their life, most women contain intelligent DNA. However, most of them spit it out.

Biblical Curse Generator

Christians may look like a bunch of wimps, but the Old Testament of the bible was full of vengeance and badass saints. Next time you need an insult, why not confuse the shit out of the insultee by using this Biblical Curse Generator. http://www.shipoffools.com/curses/

Batteries not included.

Keith Richards: `I Snorted My Father’

From the people who brought you “motherfucker” comes the new phrase “fathersnorter”

LONDON (AP) – Keith Richards has acknowledged consuming a raft of illegal substances in his time, but this may top them all.

In comments published Tuesday, the 63-year-old Rolling Stones guitarist
said he had snorted his father’s ashes mixed with cocaine.

“The strangest thing I’ve tried to snort? My father. I snorted my
father,” Richards was quoted as saying by British music magazine NME.

“He was cremated and I couldn’t resist grinding him up with a little
bit of blow. My dad wouldn’t have cared,” he said. “… It went down
pretty well, and I’m still alive.”

Richards’ father, Bert, died in 2002, at 84.

Richards, one of rock’s legendary wild men, told the magazine that his
survival was the result of luck, and advised young musicians against
trying to emulate him.

“I did it because that was the way I did it. Now people think it’s a way of life,” he was quoted as saying.

“I’ve no pretensions about immortality,” he added. “I’m the same as everyone … just kind of lucky.

“I was No. 1 on the `who’s likely to die’ list for 10 years. I mean, I
was really disappointed when I fell off the list,” Richards said.

Link to article

Principal admits throwing excrement

By

Peter Small

Courts Bureau

A suspended Toronto elementary school principal has pleaded guilty to throwing feces (excrement) on a child.

Maria
Pantalone, 49, was charged with two counts of assault – one against
that child and one against another – but only admitted to one of the
charges today.

“I couldn’t take it any more,” she testified, in
describing the provocative circumstances leading up to the incident
last June 30.

But she agreed it wasn’t in any way justified.

Pantalone,
who is the sister of Toronto Deputy Mayor Joe Pantalone, was principal
of Keele Street Junior Public School and Mountview Alternative, which
collectively have 500 students and operate out of the same building
near Keele St. and Humberside Ave.

The names of the victims cannot be published owing to a ban imposed by provincial court Justice Howard Borenstein.

Neither were students at her school.

Since
being charged last summer, she has been suspended with pay and ordered
to stay away from anyone under the age of 16, unless under supervision.

Both
Crown prosecutor John Ball and defence lawyer Michael Caroline jointly
recommended that she receive an absolute discharge, which will leave
her without a criminal record, and enter into a peace bond not to have
contact with the two children.

Caroline submitted some 20 letters of support for his client, including one signed by 19 staff members at her school.