C-c-c-c-c-cocaine

I knew coke cost alot in Australia, but I had no idea how much more it was than in other parts of the world. In Colombia, home of cocaine you pay only $2 per gram. Prices are in USD.

Save Petrol Driving

With petrol prices at record highs, using less petrol will save you money. There is lots of information on the net about how to use less petrol while driving, I’ve put together some of the easiest and most useful ways.

1. Don’t drive like a Commodore driver
Basically don’t accelerate and brake quickly. There’s no point in taking off quickly at the lights then hitting the brake a few seconds later because there is a car in front. Aggressive driving is the biggest use of fuel. In traffic you want to be constantly moving, not stopping and starting. Go slower. Leave a big gap between you and the car in front. This way you try to move forward constantly, rather than the usual start-stop way most people drive.

2. Air Conditioner
Air con is another big petrol waster. With the air con compressor on, the car has less power and needs to work harder to move, using more fuel. If it is hot and you must have the air con on, try to park in the shade so it doesn’t have to work as hard to cool the car. You can also put the window down a tiny bit for a few minutes after you turn the air con on, to allow the hotter air to leave the car. When the car is cool and you are near your destination, turn the air con off – the car isn’t going to get hot in 5 minutes, so why have the air con on for that last bit of driving?

There are also arguments as to whether it is better to have the air con on using more fuel or the windows down, creating drag as air rushes in the car. The general consensus is this: windows down at slower speeds, windows up and air con on at higher speeds.

3. Changing Gears
In a manual, shift up through gears at lower revs when driving normally. When driving uphill or towing, stay in the lower gear until you can change without the engine struggling.

4. Cruise Control
If you have a cruise control, use it. It will keep the engine at the right amount of revs and use the minimal amount of fuel.

5. Reduce Weight
The more weight your car has to move, the more power it needs. Empty things out of your boot\back seat that you don’t need. Obviously keep the spare wheel, but do you really need to be carrying all those dead bodies? Less weight = less fuel usage.

If you don’t mind stopping for fuel frequently, don’t fill your tank right up. More fuel in the tank is more weight to be hauling around. Make sure your fuel cap is on tightly too, or else fuel can escape as vapours.

6. Idle or turn car off?
This is another common argument – is it better to leave the car idling or turn it off? Cars use more petrol starting than they do idling for a small period of time. The general rule is if the car isn’t going to be moving for more than a couple of minutes, turn it off and back on when you need to move. This could be useful in a traffic jam, or if you’re waiting to pick someone up.

7. Drive slower
Proven fact – the slower you drive, the less fuel you will use. I’m not talking about speeding (although that will use more fuel). I’m talking about doing 55 in a 60 zone. Other drivers will hate you, you’ll take more time getting where you’re going – but you’ll use less fuel getting there. The faster you go, the bigger the difference in fuel consumption is. For example a car doing 200km/h will use twice as much fuel as a car doing 160km/h, although it is going just 40km/h faster.

8. Maintenance
Keep your car regularly serviced. Dirty spark plugs, oil which needs changed, dirty air filter will all mean the engine has to work harder and use more fuel. Have your car serviced twice a year, or learn how to change your oil, petrol filter, air filter and spark plugs – these are not difficult things to do. A very important thing to do is keep your tyres at the right pressure.

Underinflated tyres will have more friction on the road and cause the car to use more fuel. Check your tyre pressure once a month. Most service stations have an air hose you can use to check tyre pressure and pump them up if needed. Don’t overinflate them however, as this is bad for the tyres.

On the subject of wheels, have a wheel balance and alignment every time you get new tyres, if the car starts to drift to one side when you let go of the wheel or if the steering wheel vibrates. Balance and alignments do not cost much and will save you money on petrol and tyres.

Convert to Gas
Consider converting to gas. There are government subsidies available for people who convert their cars to gas – you can get $2000 towards a gas conversion from the Federal government, and the Western Australian government will also contribute $1000. The cost to convert to gas can be from $2000 – $4000, but it is estimated that you can save $1200 over a year by switching to LPG. This can also increase the resale value of your car, and LPG is better for the environment.

50 Cent Short of Singing Lessons

From news.com.au, and probably other news sites around the world…

RAPPER 50 Cent
has suffered an embarrassing blow at the BET awards, when he was caught
lip synching live on stage, watched by millions of people.

Entertainment
site MediaTakeOut.com report that 50 Cent was caught out from the
beginning of his performance, after being ceremoniously lowered onto
stage on a podium.

The “What Up Gangsta” rapper clearly lip synched the initial chorus to the hit song “Amusement Park.”

After the chorus ended, he tried to continue mouthing the songs
lyrics. But unfortunately for 50, DJ Whoo Kidd played the instrumental
version.

Oops!

See the video here.

One person who worked the event told MediaTakeOut.com, “The
whole thing was so embarrassing. To get caught like that in front of
millions of people is almost unimaginable.”

After this first
embarrassment, the cringe-worthy performer increased the situation by
walking around the stage seemingly aimlessly – all the while waiting
for the song to re-cue.

G-Unit member Tony Yayo decided the best way to help the sinking song was to scream expletives into the microphone.

Witnesses
said that when the record did eventually re-cue, 50 did all that he
could to salvage his performance, but it was far too late at that
point.

By then 50 appeared so shaken with embarrassment, that he cut things short.

Bizarrely,
50 finished the shortened set with the words, “Vitamin Water.” An
apparent reference to a new business venture worth about $US100M.

After the event, MediaTakeOut.com spoke to witnesses.

One audience member told the site “No one in the audience really
knew what was going on. It just seemed like (50 Cent) cut the
performance short … But now that I know he was lip syncing, I think
it’s hilarious.”

Spice up your life

It’s finally happened. The Spice Girls are reforming and going on a world tour which includes USA, Britain, Germany, Spain, China, South Africa, Argentina and our own little corner of the world, Australia.

But will anyone actually turn up to see these has been hags? Geri Halliwell seems to think so – “I like to think our songs are universal… they are timeless”. No Geri. They are crapshit.

If you feel a burning desire to register for tickets, head over to www.thespicegirls.com, but a word of warning – the reforming of the spice girls is actually the first sign of the apocalypse.

For more information, click here

Soldier Side

System of a Down – Soldier Side

Dead men lying on the bottom of the grave.
Wondering when Savior comes,
Is he gonna be saved?

Maybe You’re a sinner into your alterning life.
Maybe you’re a joker, maybe you deserve to die.

They were crying when their sons left.
God is wearing black.
He’s gone so far to find no hope,
he’s never coming back.
They were crying when their sons left.
All young men must go.
He’s come so far to find the truth,
he’s never going home.

Young men standing on the top of their own graves.
Wondering when Jesus comes,
are they gonna be saved?

Cruelty to the winner, Bishop tells the King his lies.
Maybe you’re a mourner, maybe you deserve to die.
They were crying when their sons left.
God is wearing black.
He’s gone so far to find no hope,
he’s never coming back.
They were crying when their sons left,
All young men must go.
He’s come so far to find no truth,
he’s never going home.

Welcome to the Solider Side.
Where there’s no one here but me.
People all grow up to die.
There is no one here but me.

Welcome to the Solider Side.
Where there is no one here but me.
People on the Soldier’s Side.
There’s no one here but me.

Bad Joke Monday

A man walking down a street sees a boy with a dog coming the other way. As the boy gets closer he realises he is not sure what breed the dog is. He stops the boy and asks.

“It’s a blacksmith”, says the boy.
“A blacksmith? I’ve never heard of that”, the man responded.
“Yes, a blacksmith” said the boy. He pointed at the open door of a nearby house. “If I shove a red hot poker up it’s arse it will make a bolt for that door”.

Getting legless at an amuesment park

http://www.wlky.com/news/13547817/detail.htmlLOUISVILLE, Ky. — Police confirmed that a 13-year-old girl’s feet have been cut off at Six Flags’ Kentucky Kingdom.

Officials said they got the call around 5 p.m. Thursday and both her feet were detached at the ankle.

According to MetroSafe dispatch supervisors, the girl was riding the Superman Tower of Power, which is 177 feet tall and drops riders at 54 miles per hour. According to Kentucky Kingdom, the girl was injured when the ride malfunctioned.

“We seen the cable break loose soon as it got to the top on the right-hand side,” said Chris Williams, who witnessed the event.

Treva Smith said it snapped again as the ride descended.

“The people on the ride just came and hit the ground,” Smith said.

Next, Williams said she saw the teen maimed.

“As the ride came down, the wire swung left, struck the young lady on the back side of my children,” Williams said.

Williams’ daughter Amber said she gave up her seat to the 13-year-old and was sitting on the other side of the ride. Williams rushed toward the ride to find his daughter. As Smith raced to find members of her group she said she made a gruesome discovery.

“When I got up there, the lady, she was just sitting there and she didn’t have no legs,” Smith said. “She didn’t have no legs at all. She was just calm, probably in shock from everything.”

Smith said she saw no blood and the girl wasn’t crying but the same couldn’t be said for many who witnessed the incident on the ride formerly known as the Hellevator.

“My son’s over there tripping out man,” Williams said. “You want to come to a park and feel safe you know. We’ve got season passes. We’re not coming back for sure.”

But other visitors aren’t so worried.

“Every park, one in a million maybe something happens,” park visitor Kenneth Lay said. “But I have no fear.”

On scene EMT personnel were on hand to immediately transport the girl to a hospital. As of 10:34 p.m. Thursday there was no word on her condition.

The ride was shut down and will remain so until a full investigation has been completed.

Other uses for soft drink

34 Uses for That Can of Soda, Other Than Quenching Thirst

06/19/2007
From The Bachelor Guy

It’s the Real Thing, it Adds Life, and You Gotta Have It, but that can
or bottle of cola can also work wonders in an emergency. The chemical
soup that makes up most commercial soft drinks not only makes them
taste good and quench thirst, but also make them effective cleaning
agents, bolt looseners, paint strippers, and possible skin softeners.
More uses than MacGyver could think up.

And since most guys usually have a can or six lying around the house,
knowing what to use it for when trouble arises can save you big
problems and big money. Here’s a list you should keep handy… Just in
case.

CLEANING
1. Clean Car Battery Terminals.
There’s acid in almost all
carbonated drinks. And that helps strip corrosion from car battery
terminals. Pour some soda over the battery terminals and let it sit for
a while. Wipe off the residue with a wet cloth.

2. Clean Your Dirty Toilet Bowl.
Got bad stains, a date coming over in an hour and no toilet cleaner?
Pour a can of soda into the bowl. Let it sit for an hour to let the
phosphoric acid work on the stains, then brush to loosen the dirt and
flush clean.

3. Remove Rust Spots From Chrome.
If you have an older car that has real chrome trim, chances are there
are some small, and some not so small, rust spots developing on the
chrome. Take some crumpled aluminum foil, dip it in some cola and rub
the rust off the affected area.

4. Remove Rust Stains in Your Tub.
Remember how the phosphoric acid worked to clean the toilet bowl? The
same acid will remove rust stains in your tub. Soak a sponge
(preferably one with an abrasive side), in some cola and go to work on
the stain.

5. Clean Grout.
Got some mold and mildew ruining the look of your shower? Soak a sponge with Coke and work it into the grout. Rinse with water.

6. Remove Grease From Clothes.
Been working on the car all weekend and greased up more than just the
engine? Pouring a can of cola into your washer, along with your regular
detergent, is said to help loosen and wash away those grease stains.

7. Remove Milk Stains From Clothes.
Got milk? Soak the stain with Coke for about five minutes, then wash normally. It should get the stain out.

8. Remove Blood Stains From Clothes.
I’m not going to ask how they got there, but if you soak the stain with
cola for five minutes then wash in your machine, the blood should come
out. Even dried blood that’s been there for a while. (Don’t tell the
CSI.)

9. Clean Coins.
Got a thing for shiny pennies? Collecting state quarters and want them
to sparkle? Place your coins in a small dish and soak in Coke for a few
hours. Rinse and wipe to a bright shine. (I wouldn’t recommend this
trick with a rare coin collection. Just in case.)

10. Clean Grease From Glass. Even Eyeglasses.
That same handy phosphoric acid removes grease and grime from glass.
Even dried hairspray from mirrors. Just rinse thoroughly with water
after.

11. Clean Oil Stains From Garage Floor or Driveway.
Pour soda over the stain, let it soak in for a while, then scrub and rinse off with a hose.

12. Clean Burnt Pans.
Forget a pot on the stove and now whatever was in it is seared to the
bottom? If scrubbing won’t get it off, try this: boil some Coke in the
pot and the burnt-on mess should lift right out.

AROUND THE HOUSE
13. Loosen Clogged Drains.
If your sink is draining slowly and you don’t have any drain cleaner in
the house, pour a 2-liter bottle of cola down the drain and let the
acids go to work on the clog.

14. Loosen Rusted Nuts and Bolts.
Soak a rag in cola and wrap it around the rusted-on bolt for a few minutes. The acids and carbonation will help loosen it.

15. Make Flowers Last Longer.
Got your girl some flowers and you want them to survive through the
week? Pour about 1/4 cup of clear soda, like Sprite or 7-Up into a vase
full of water. Sugar helps them last longer.

16. Strip Paint From Metal Patio Furniture.
Want to refinish some outdoor furniture? Do it the right way and strip
off the old paint first. To make it easier, soak a towel in Coke. Let
it sit on the furniture for about a week, adding more Coke whenever the
towel starts to dry out. The paint should strip off easily.

17. Kill Slugs and Snails.
If these pests are invading your lawn and garden, pour a little Coke
into shallow dishes or jar lids and spread them throughout your yard.
The sugar attracts them, and, just like you remember from when you were
a kid, the acid kills them.

18. Greener Lawn.
It’s rumored that spraying Coke on your grass will keep your lawn greener into the fall months.

FIRST AID AND EMERGENCIES
19. Relieve Nausea or an Upset Stomach.
According to The Doctor’s Book of Home Remedies, the syrup in Coca-Cola
can be used to cure upset stomachs. Just let leave the can or bottle
open for about 30 minutes first, until the soda goes flat. The
carbonation could have an adverse effect on your stomach.

20. Prevent Diarrhea.
Also found in The Doctor’s Book of Home Remedies, if you’re traveling
through a country with a questionable water and/or food supply,
drinking coke could keep you from making constant “runs for the
border”. The acids in the soda help reduce the amount of E. Coli
bacteria in your intestines. This inhibits the production of toxins
that can cause diarrhea.

21. Relieve Constipation.
If you are, as the Germans say, Farfrompoopin, the caffeine from a can
of coke can have a laxative effect. Much like that morning latte.

22. Stop an Asthma Attack.
Just as an asthma attack comes on, down a couple of cans of coke. Some
sources say the caffeine can help prevent an asthma attack.

23. Ease a Sore Throat.
By gargling with soda you can loosen the phlegm causing the irritation.

24. Stop a Jellyfish Sting From Stinging.
The acids in cola seem to neutralize the venom in the sting. And
pouring Coke over the wound is better than having your buddy pee on it.

25. Get Gum Out of a Kid’s Hair.
Want to score points with that single mom struggling to get gum out of
her screaming kid’s hair? Come to the rescue with your can of Coke.
Soak the kid’s hair for a few minutes, then rinse. The gum should come
right out.

26. Strip Dye From Hair.
If you girl comes over crying that her new dye job turned her hair
green, wash her hair with Diet Coke. Apparently Diet Coke has the
ability to strip and/or fade bad dye jobs.

27. Get Rid of Skunk Odor.
Pissed off Pepè Le Pew and now you aren’t allowed in the house? Sponge
down with some cola and hose yourself off. Again, those handy acids
work to neutralize the stink.

28. Use As a Moisturizer.
Mixing a capful of cola with unscented lotion is said to enhance the moisturizing effects.

29. Keep People From Slipping on Slick Floors.
If you’re having an outdoor get together and you’re worried about
guests slipping on your back patio, try this old stagehand trick: use a
mop to spread a thin layer of Coke on the slippery surface. It’ll dry
slightly sticky and tacky.

DUBIOUS USES
30. Give Your Hair Shine.
Pour a can of coke over your head, work it into your hair, then rinse.
It’s said your hair will be incredibly shiny. And impervious to slugs
and snails.

31. Mousse Alternative.
Mix equal parts coke and water in a spray bottle and mix well. After
you shower, spray a light coat of the mixture into your hair, then
style. (I’m sure having sugar in your hair all day won’t attract flies
or be uncomfortable at all.)

32. Prevent Flatulence.
Adding a can of coke to a pot of pinto beans when cooking is supposed
to neutralize the gas-causing compounds. (Belching? Another story.)

33. Get a Darker Tan.
There are those who say rubbing plain coke all over your body gives you
a deeper tan. (There’s caramel coloring in there, but I question the
evenness of the result, and how long it will last.)

34. Shell Hard Boiled Eggs.
Apparently, if you soak hard boiled eggs in Coke the shells will dissolve, eliminating the need to actually have to peel them.

Overheard…

Everyone likes quotes. And who could possibly be better to quote than random people you hear in New York? Enter “Overhead in New York”.

Sample:
Guy: I was seeing her for a while, but it just wasn’t working out. I guess I’m not over Jessica.
Girl: What?
Guy: What do you mean, what?
Girl: I thought you were gay.
Guy: Oh, because I’m a hairdresser. How original. Just because I’m a hairdresser you think I’m gay.
Girl: No. I thought you were gay because when I stayed at your house four years ago I woke up and saw you fucking Matt in the ass!
Guy: Oh my God. Matt and I have never talked about that night.

Check it out at: http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/pages/mostpopular.html
Also have a look at Overhead in the office
And overheard at the beach

Woman jailed for testicle attack

From BBC News
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/england/merseyside/4253849.stm

A woman who ripped off her ex-boyfriend’s testicle with her bare hands has been sent to prison.

Amanda Monti, 24, flew into a rage when Geoffrey Jones,
37, rejected her advances at the end of a house party, Liverpool Crown
Court heard.

She pulled off his left testicle and tried to swallow
it, before spitting it out. A friend handed it back to Mr Jones saying:
“That’s yours.”

Monti admitted wounding and was jailed for two-and-a-half years.

‘Pulled hard’

Sentencing Monti, Judge Charles James said it was “a very serious injury” and that Monti was not acting in self defence.

The court heard that Mr Jones had ended his long-term but “open relationship” with Monti towards the end of May last year.

The pair remained on good terms and on 30 May she picked
him up from a party in Crosby and went back for drinks with friends at
Mr Jones’s house.

An argument ensued and Mr Jones said there was a struggle between them.

In his statement, Mr Jones said she grabbed his genitals and “pulled hard”.

He added: “That caused my underpants to come off and I found I was completely naked and in excruciating pain.”

The court heard that a friend saw Monti put Mr Jones’s testicle into her mouth and try to swallow it.

She choked and spat it back into her hand before the
friend grabbed it and gave it back to Mr Jones. Doctors were unable to
re-attach the organ.

In a letter to the court, Monti said she was sorry for what she had done.

She said: “It was never my intention to cause harm to
Geoff and the fact that I have caused him injury will live with me
forever. I am in no way a violent person.”

The letter added: “I have challenged myself to explain
what has happened but still I just cannot remember. This has caused
much anguish to me and will do for the rest of my life.”